The purpose of this page is to provide one with the opportunity to express oneself. I hope that many people will take to writing something, either short or long, I don't care.

I'll maybe keep the black and white action going on, it's a little more newspaperesque.

Here is a crappy editorial that will probably make you think that I am a loser.

February 5, 2001

I really wonder what the end of university will bring to my life. I guess that I am writing this in a sort of reflective introspective way, but I am also writing in a general, 'where is society going' kind of way.  As lame as it is, I am drawing much of my inspiration for this peice from last night's episode of  Malcom in the Middle. As pathetic as that sounds, I will qualify that statement by saying that I have been thinking thoughts about vocation for a while. Last night's episode simply re-iterated what I have been thinking forever.  I know that I am not alone in this, but sometimes it seems like I am, I do not want to enter into a career. I am not lazy, but a little worried. I am worried that one day I will wake up and find out that I am living some crazy life that has no joy in it, that I am a hamster on a wheel in a cage, spinning so that I can break the wheel, so that I can support the wheel industry by buying another wheel.  Am I destined to live in poverty? What defines quality of life; pleasure? money? a necessarily connected combination of the two? I don't really know. I am graduating soon and am wondering where I can turn to in the work world to be able to creatively explore life like I have been blessed with the opportunity to do at SSU. Professor? I don't think I'm smart enough. Write books? I don't think I have great ideas or that I could write fast enough to make it a 'job', but it would be fun/cool. I guess I just have to do things and figure it out? Maybe I'll never have stability? I am really impressed with Ryan A. Also with Chris M. Both of these guys are people that are actually in the work world, they have bitten the bullet, they even have a goal, it seems. It blows me away that my friends are in the real business world. The more I think about it, lots of my friends are, Joel, Austin, Bo and other guys. We all grow up, after all, I am married!  I want to have money and I would like to be successful, I guess maybe I don't feel that the BA qualifies me for too much in the work world. My BA has qualified me to be in the world,  thinking and being a citizen. I don't look at the world the same anymore, it's kind of cool. But in many ways I want to stay a kid, but in other ways, I want to be old.  One thing is certain, and that is that it isn't so much what I want, but what God wants. I have been learning time and time again for the past 6 years or so that basically I just need to wait for God to let me know what to do, while at the same time thinking and exploring my options. I guess I am in a more exciting phase of life than anything right know. The tension is OK I guess. Can I just pay off my student loans?

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